Sharing a bed with Melinda Messenger
Last week I talked about potential future princess Chelsy Davy turning up for a night out at my club, Mission. Well she hasn't been back - but another famous blonde called in ...
This time the celeb in question was former page three stunner Melinda Messenger who appeared, totally out of the blue, with her hubby and some gay friends.
She was in West Yorkshire to visit her Bradford-based mate and they were all out celebrating his birthday. The gang spent some time in the new VIP area of my bar, Fibre, before moving across the road to Mission.
We'd brought in a big bed as a prop for a Federation club night there - we love pulling wacky stunts to make sure we surprise the clubbers and get talked about, and this set-up was to encourage people to recline and get comfy and let one of our outrageous drag queens read them a bedtime story. Ahh!
So, me and Melinda shared the bed while we had a chat - I don't think her husband was too worried! She's lovely, she told me how much she loves Leeds and the shopping there and how she prefers it to London. She actually lives in Hastings.
I asked her: "Have you been spending a load of money at Harvey Nicks then?" and she said: "Nooo, I know how to spend money but my husband goes mad when I do!"
She wasn't interested in hiding away in the VIP area, she wanted to be out in the middle of the club, dancing. I had a dance with her too - I'm a rubbish dancer, I just shuffled my hips for about 12 seconds, so that I could tell my friends that I'd had a dance with her.
They stayed till 3am before they all piled back to Bradford. Just another strange and unexpected night!
Chopper for Ms Thurman
Feeling guilty about one too many of those twelve quid taxi rides home? Well that's nothing compared with what you could spend on getting from A to B.
A mate of mine is involved with VIP travel and let slip to me that Uma Thurman, the Hollywood actress, was inexplicably in Ripon - visiting friends. I'm reliably told - and wanted to get back to Essex.
So instead of jumping on a train or even having a car come to collect her, she blew a cool £5,500 on a helicopter ride ...
Careful with that chocolate
Chocolate can be dangerous stuff ... I was larking about in the car with Mark the photographer, who works for me, trying to crack open a Terry's Chocolate Orange that someone had bought for me.
To make Mark - the driver - laugh, I shouted: "It's not Terry's, its mine!" like Dawn French used to do on the advert, before banging it down hard on the dash, to break it open.
Unfortunately the impact of the rock-hard confectionery caused the passenger airbag to explode into action - I jumped out of my skin! Needless to say it didn't put me off scoffing a few segments. Well, I needed it to get over the shock.